I have to admit, when this point came up, I wasn’t sure what to think about it on the surface. Accepting our children? Where was this going? It turns out, as it always does, that there is a definite message and takeaway from this element of our job as parents. Jesus set the example clearly, as quoted here in Matthew:
Matthew 18:5
Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me,
Matthew 19:13-14
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
Clearly, children were set apart a treasures belonging to the kingdom of heaven. God has given us as parents a precious gift and an awesome responsibility in our children. But what about this “acceptance?”
Psalm 103:13-14
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
14 For he knows our frame;[a]
he remembers that we are dust.
Here we get more of a picture that acceptance is knowing and understanding our children. It’s no big secret that our families know us better than anyone else. We can’t hide our bad qualities from those we live with. However, we are called specifically by God to accept and love our children – flaws and all. This is modeled in the example God has given us of grace and mercy, when we don’t deserve it.
Recently, several parents made the comment, “we tend to focus on the negative.” This is true of many parents, including myself. When was the last time you told each of your kids that you loved them and were proud of them? Hopefully that happens at least as often as asking the question, “What were you thinking when you did that?!” More importantly, and going directly to the point of acceptance, when was the last time you sat down with each of you kids and spent some time talking about their lives? You can gain much knowledge and insight into where they are happy, and where they are struggling by just having little, honest conversations with them. The more you do this, the more they’ll let you in to their lives. This is acceptance – knowing them for who they are, NOT who you want them to be. It is one of the keys to guiding them into adulthood with the faith and values that you want them to hold on to forever.
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